Our monthly theme of Creative Release is in line with the seasonal shift (at least for us here in the Northern Hemisphere). Earth prepares itself for winter by slowing down and entering a process of refinement and reduction. As the leaves are falling off the trees, the energy cools down and the days get shorter, we are invited to do the same in our internal landscape.
What does letting go and releasing mean in the creative process? For some, that could translate as the mere fact of releasing a project out into the world - the end point of the creative act which mostly involves sharing and freeing the project to be viewed and evaluated. Sometimes a creative release takes on a more internal form: being able to let inspiration move through us and then being released in the creative act. Perhaps it has to do with letting go of expectations, which are also intrinsically linked to creativity.
And another form—which we’ll discuss here—is about getting over creative rejections, letting them go and allowing them to feed us rather than deplete us. We’re not talking about brushing them aside as if nothing happened - quite the opposite. Setbacks and hardships are an integral part of being a creative, and serve an actual purpose in our growth and development.
So how do you embrace rejection in a healthy way? Here are 5 tips to help you with this very challenge.
1/ Ride the wave
Experiencing rejection is like going through a type of grief. When we don’t push grief aside, but rather learn to look at it, deal with it and make friends with it - is where the potential for growth lies, and creation can take place. Whether that’s a job loss, an unsuccessful pitch, or collaboration opportunity going unanswered - allow yourself the space to grieve and don’t brush aside the hurt feelings and sadness and pretend nothing happened. This act of acknowledgement can be as little as taking a long walk to process your experience, or as big as any ritual you feel appropriate that can signify the release.
2/ Be generous about your failure
A big part of processing and not denying yourself the experience of rejection, is about sharing. Try and avoid keeping everything to yourself - share whatever you can about what happened, not only with your closest friends and family, but also with peers, colleagues and your creative community.
It’s so easy to fall back into thinking that we are the only ones that failures or setbacks happen to. But that couldn’t be further from the truth: rejection is a universal experience, and even the most successful people you can think of still experience it on a regular basis. When we are able to openly discuss this as a common human experience, people feel less alone when that happens to them. That way, not only are you helping yourself in the processing of the disappointment - you are also helping others along the way.
3/ Ask the hard questions
We’re usually told to ask for feedback after getting a ‘no’, in order for us to learn what happened, what we could have done better, or where we might seek improvement. As helpful as asking for external feedback is, what we’re suggesting here is different. This is about directing the question to yourself. Have a moment of self-reflection, maybe even with a pen and paper so you can journal around this.
While it’s best to avoid over-thinking and analyzing, it can be beneficial to gently explore what this experience meant for you and how to move forward. Questions or themes like “what actually happened?”; “what was outside of my control?”; “what was positive about it”?; “what do I want to do next?” will help you frame and evaluate the situation with much clearer vision.
4/ Your Creative GPS
When things don’t work out, the human instinct is mostly to wallow in the loss, catastrophize the future, and generally focus our energies and thoughts in the doom-and-gloom sphere. Our mind will tend to think “this was the most amazing opportunity I've ever had in my life and it’s gone”, or “this was my dream job tailored to my skills and there are no others like it out there”. Well, guess what? That’s all biased thinking! In reality, the truth is much more complex and layered. When we actually open our eyes to it, we can see that whatever it was we got rejected from, really wasn’t the right fit for us. It can take time to get to this realization, but once we do, a whole new landscape opens up to us - the one where we can look at this setback as an opportunity to fine-tune our inner compass. Think of the rejection as your own creative GPS that will guide you on your own way, telling you whether it was a sign you should try a different route, or perhaps it was a way to make you even more determined to stay on your current path, using different tools.
As Noa Beyo, one of our Mentor Spotlight participants told us: “For two years, I tried to get into design studies without success. It was a painful failure, accompanied by a lot of tears and a feeling that maybe I wasn't good enough... Therefore, I began researching other career options. In this search, I realized that I couldn't see myself doing anything other than design, which led me to Minshar College. That failure eventually gave me higher motivation, belief in myself to prove that I am capable, and also resulted in starting my studies at a later stage in life, when I was more mature and prepared. If I had been accepted in the first year I tried, I wouldn't have reached where I am today.”
5/ Cherish the lessons
Another way in which rejection can be a blessing in disguise happens when we focus our attention on the lessons we can learn from it. As Kobi Michaeli told us: “I was self employed for 3 years, and it went well at the beginning. Business wasn’t booming, but I thought it was a good start. My clients were happy and I was enjoying the work I was doing, but in the end it just didn’t come through financially. There were plenty of good things about that ‘failure’, but the ones I appreciate most are that I had to learn a lot by myself and it made me a better designer.”
Once you’ve been able to crystallize some of these invaluable lessons - why not use them as a motivator to creating new work? After all, isn’t this why you’ve chosen to be a creative? Strong emotions and ideas are the stuff that fuels life and art, so use it as a catalyst for your creativity.
